My shop sells dice. These are commonly referred to by teachers as "random number generators". We have lots of different sizes, from 4-sided to 100-sided. I, personally, sell lots of dodecahedrons (12-sided) to parents who want their kids to practice their times tables, but are tired of flash cards. Our display of dice is on the side of the main counter, with the dice filling tons of little bins. They are quite attractive to small children, so much so that, despite all the stickers warning parents to keep kids under three from eating them, all the employees keep a watchful eye on the display to help make sure it doesn't happen. And so I was being very watchful the other day when a young gentleman and his mom came up to the display.
The little boy was well-disciplined and respectful. His mother had told him to not touch anything, so he held her in one hand, and the other was closed in a fist at his side. But when he saw the dice his cute eyes windened and he got as close as he could to the bins, with his nose almost touching the nearest one, staring hard at the dice within. After a small eternity, he stepped back and pointed at the dice, looking up at his mom, and asked, "Eat one?"
I controlled my laughter at his incredible seriousness while his mom said, "no, they aren't for eating."
"Not for eat'n?" he asked.
"No," I said, "they're made of plastic, and it's not good to eat."
He studied me for a second, then asked, "'lastic?"
"Yes," I responded, "Plastic." I grabbed a plastic dice box and tapped on the side of it. "It's hard, and not good to eat."
"'lastic." He said to himself, then looked up at me again, "Not good to eat?"
"No," I said, feeling slightly bemused, "Not good."
He nodded seriously. Then, looking me right in the eyes, said, "Why?"
Oh No! The dreaded "Why"s! I looked right back at him, and said, "Because it's made of plastic."
He gave me a slightly impatient look, then said, "'lastic. Not good. Why?"
Ah. He got the whole plastic thing, he wanted to know why it wasn't good. A dozen thoughts ran quickly through my head. But I didn't want to get into the details of the digestive system. I just wanted to get the idea across that eating dice is bad. So I said, "It will make you sick."
"Sick?" He looked surprised. He looked up at his mom and asked again, "Sick?" She nodded, and he looked back at me. "Sick," He stated solemnly, then made the most realistic retching noise I've heard in a long time. "Sick!" he exclaimed. I almost burst into laughter, I had to control myself sternly. Instead I nodded and confirmed that it would make him sick.
He looked at the dice, then said, loudly enough for everyone in the store to hear, "'lastic! Sick!" and then that realistic retching noise again. Many of the other customers couldn't keep their laughter in, and I heard giggles from around the store. The young gentleman didn't seem to notice, though, and led his mom away from the display. As the two wandered the store, I would occassionally hear him making the retching noise. One of the other customers kept repeating "eat one" to himself and giggling.
When the mother brought her treasures up to the counter to buy them, I apologized for setting her boy off, but she brushed it off, saying it was a phase he was going through since his sister had gotten the flu last month.
eeeeuuuuwwwwww.
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