When I went to go check things out on the web this morning, I visited "My Yahoo" just to see what they had for my birthday (the link changes, so you won't see what I saw if you look after today). There were some nice bits, like the horoscope which always tries to flatter. A quote from George Burns, who was also born on January 20th. Some other people who share this birthday.
And there was this: On Jan. 20, 1981, Iran released 52 Americans it had held hostage for 444 days, minutes after the presidency had passed from Jimmy Carter to Ronald Reagan. This, my absolute worst birthday memory.
It was already turning out to be not good, as the excitement of Ronald Reagan being sworn in was all over the place. January 20th being inauguration day has meant a few odd memories here and there, but this one was bigger than all the rest. I had a classmate who was absolutely convinced that we would all die in a nuclear war started by Reagan. In the excitement, everyone seemed to forget it was my birthday, even though another classmate had celebrated her birthday a few days before, and we'd even had cake! I was young, and selfish, and when you got right down to it, I didn't understand at all what was happening.
But the president was sworn in, and the teacher turned and looked at me and was about to say something when another teacher came into the room and said something very excitedly, out of our hearing, to my teacher. My teacher's face lit up, and she went back to the TV upon which we had just watched the inauguration and turned it back on. Whatever she had been about to say, whether it had anything to do with me or not, was completely forgotten. The news was on, and the announcer was saying something about the hostages. About them being free. The class erupted into cheers. We all knew about the hostages, we'd tied yellow ribbons in front of the school for them. The rest of the day was spent watching the news... not once the entire school day did anyone remember it was my birthday, and I was too shy and polite to bring it up.
We never celebrated my birthday that school year. Some of my classmates teased me about it later in the week. They would tease about anything, but having everyone forget your birthday was humiliating. At that point in my life, birthdays were so important that having everyone forget was like having everyone intentionally ignore you. I felt snubbed. I felt miserable. I didn't understand the hostage situation, or why they'd been released. I didn't grasp the politics at all. I remember telling someone outside of school that I wished Iran had waited a day to release them, and being chastised for my insensitivity. That added guilt into the whirlpool of emotion.
I don't clearly remember when or how we celebrated at home. I remember most clearly the conflict of emotions. The intense joy of the hostages being released mixed with the personal shame of everyone forgetting me in the chaos. I was young, I'd never felt emotions that powerful that were in such conflict. I supposed I've felt such things later, but that was the first and the worst. And it also left me with a strong desire to make sure people never forget my birthday again... one that has no doubt annoyed some of my family and friends along the way.
So that's my worst birthday memory. I don't have any really pleasant ones. They don't stick out in my mind like that one does. I must have had good birthdays somewhere along the line, but I don't remember any. So... off to face the world. What will I remember about this birthday?
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