Thursday, January 27, 2005

Eric Gets All The Good E-Mail

So Eric said, from across the room, "What the...?" in a rather perplexed voice. After a moment, he asked me to come and read the e-mail he'd just gotten, as it was one of those wonderfully odd ones that only the really lucky people get...

So was the hanging man actually the real deal Neil Osborne you know the original guy lead-singer whatever behind the rock group 54-40? NOT the robot version who looks just like him?

As I'm sure you all know, Eric started his Wizard of Oz Website in order to debunk the stupid hanging man rumor. He still gets e-mails about the hanging man, and usually deletes any that start out like this one. But I think when he read the line about "the robot version" of Neil Osborne, he was hooked. It goes on...

I don't have an email address but if you're who I think you might be - or maybe you can pass this email along to you-know-who - it/he/she Jerkdump or whoever was controlling Jerkdump before it/he/she disappeared

If the writer doesn't have an e-mail address, then how did Eric get this note?

which I think may have been recently but how the heaven would I know even though I did help the Almighty Father - you know the real supernatural guy who actually may be hanging around or I should say lurking around in disguise as the sun you know the big ball of fire you see clearly in the sky when it's not cloudy (talk about someone able to generate incredible magnetic fields and laser light and sending them not just throughout a planet such as Earth but an entire galaxy!!!)

Oooh, I think he's trying to say that God and the Sun are the same thing! I wonder how he helped the sun? I'm sure that's a story that just begs to be told...

- anyways, back to what I was originally typing (yeah pretty good eh how I seem to be able to type just as well as I was able to over 2 years ago before I was gassed at work in the Big Smoke T.O.)

Yeah, I'd say typing is definitely not a problem for this guy.

- I helped the Almighty clean up on the stupid game - the whole galaxy is now his torritery (territory the way my best friend, Lucky, puts it - he and Jaroo being the leaders of the Slippery Fish Team of which I am honored to be member, courtery of the Almighty). And now I've forgotten the original point I was trying to make.

I wanna join the Slippery Fish Team!

Yes, I will admit I have memory problems but that's because the likes of YO! are screwing around with my and no doubt other good people's brains with your fudging laser technology which is not working so well these days leading to the new common usage of the term "theoretically" by the likes of YOs though I will admit that as I continue to type I can tell there are considerable efforts being made to shut me down or disengage in some way the powers of my brain which as far as I know, are an original brain made by the Almighty Father and protected by Him from the likes of YO monsters which will all soon be gonsters!

Just who does this guy think Eric is, anyway? Laser technology? The Almighty Father? What's a "YO"?

I still can't figure out why, but I, since I am lazy and would rather be not thinking too much but rather drinking beer, listening or playing to rock music, and/or most of all making love to someone of the opposite sex who actually is capable of love and is not just wanting to kill me,

The result of too many bad dates...

I'm used to living without answers and don't really need to know too much of anything other than I know though I can't prove it that the Almighty Father does exist and He has a poofer which He uses to make all unnatural things such as insect brains running around pretending to be humans and birds and squirrels and everything else under the sun that they're not, and/or robots that are all metal and computer chips and wires under their fake skin - disappear literally into thin air.

He has a poofer!!!!

Which reminds me of the original thing I was going to say which is that although you may have been becoming increasingly unaware of everything I am doing and thinking since you can read minds and use tracking technology,

I really want to know who this guy thinks Eric is. And if Eric has a poofer too.

you know that I am typing up this email hoping that this lovely computer's lasers coming out of her (I tried to hear, I think the friend I'm on is female) will finally drop me, and you may have in fact also compelled me to come to this computer to get on the net as another set-up to try to get me out of the way, to no avail since you can also control people's minds with your stupid technology.

Hrm. The computer, which is female, is shooting lasers that will drop the writer of the e-mail, who thinks Eric can control minds. Awesome!

Well, all you have to do is believe in the Almighty Father and you will be saved. But even better, you'll be in on the joke.

You know, that should be the new mantra for spreading the gospel... you'll be in on the joke. I love it.

Cause it is the funniest think I have ever been aware of in my life to know all this high technology all around me everywhere literally on this planet is being used all the time - and I almost feel I really should get off the computer RIGHT NOW! but I haven't finished this email yet 'cause the feeling in my head is quite noticeable - to kill me to no avail, but IT WON'T WORK, NOTHING WORKS, IT DOESN'T WORK, YOU STUPID JERKS!

To be honest, if you really think the computer is trying to kill you, you probably shouldn't sit there typing a long rambling letter to a guy you don't know about how he controls minds...

The members of the Slippery Fish Team came up with that chant. I'm still around - and it's been over 2 years, no kidding - because the Almighty Father DOES exist. So please even just think about believing in him if you're a real human flesh and blood under your skin or even if you're not, He can do anything and can make you normal again. He controls time, He's the original geneticist, you have to have blind faith, just like love is blind.

God will even save the robots in the final days. Amen.

Since I don't understand your final goal for what you're doing, I can't offer more advice than that. And my advice is sincere. NO ADVICE PLEASE ESPECIALLY NOT FROM LIARS, MURDERERS AND THEIVES!

Um ok. Calm down, already.

Certainly insect culture is completely opposed to the Almighty Father's culture. We may have to just leave it at that. It is written "no place was found for them". That's why there's no raptors around, and Trexes can come and go without a trace. And why the last week in particular I spend most of my days laughing.

Wait, is this guy calling Eric an insect? Or maybe a raptor? Or a trex? Why! Them's fighting words! My hubby isn't a trex!

Thank you if any credit can be given to anyone reading this for your at this point pretty much complete inability to screw around with my mind when I'm practicing on Can't Be Tamed, my bass guitar! But last week's lesson wasn't that trouble free, so I'm hoping for a better lesson next week. My headache lasted all day. Of course I shouldn't be surprised - after all I did go to considerable pains to break off two pieces of tape from the electrical tape I usually carry around in my old motorcycle bag that I now use to carry around all the members of the Slippery Fish Team - well almost all of them - and stick them over what's-her-name's face in the photo on my teacher's desk.

Huh. Maybe I don't want to be a member of the Slippery Fish Team if I have to be carried around in an old motorcycle bag. At least we can't screw with his mind.

Did I hear someone say, are you threatening me? What was that? LOUDER! No I can't add the next thing 'cause after all, I am on the net I think.

No, that's not what I was saying at all, actually.

Oh yes I do ride motorcycles. I'm hoping for a laser-free motorcycle riding season coming up but maybe that's a bit premature.

Yeah, dodging lasers makes riding motorcycles so much less fun. Maybe we won't have lasers this season, if we're lucky.

What was that about gunning me down with or without a sound? Yes, maybe some day you won't miss, but I leave that completely up to the Almighty Father.

If it's without a sound, maybe somebody is using those lasers. I don't think hubby has ever attempted to gun anyone down, though. He's a pretty peace-loving guy.

The chain will not, will not, will not


All the best,
Evemarie Jan Tulloch
aka et

P.S. I am not a witch.

So, this guy is a gal, and isn't a witch, and wishes "all the best" despite accusing Eric of trying to kill her and control her mind.

Man. Eric gets all the good e-mail.