Inkwell vs the evil va-coom

So after doing my usual weekly vacuuming downstairs, I remembered that the upstairs bedroom really needs a good vacuuming. Inkwell the cat had raced up the stairs the instant I got the vacuum out, so I was a little concerned he might be in the bedroom and get upset when I came in with it, but I figured he'd live.

He wasn't in the bedroom. As I carried the vacuum up the stairs, I saw Inkwell sitting on the top step, puffed out like he had a bad case of static, staring intently at the vacuum in my hand.

"Inky, get out of the way," I said, as I climbed the steps.

Inkwell didn't move.

"Inky, just move," I said as I got within three steps.

Inkwell crouched and hissed, standing his ground. I stopped.

"Inkwell McStinkyPants Gjovaag!" I said, "Move your fuzzy little butt!"

"HISSSSSSSSSS!!!!"

Standoff. I couldn't easily get around him and didn't want to frighten him too much, but I really needed to vacuum that floor. So I swung the vacuum slightly in his direction. Inkwell leaned back, still hissing. Ok... I held the vacuum in front of me and proceeded up the stairs. Inkwell retreated slowly, hissing loudly and staying in that feline crouch. I was afraid he'd go into the bedroom, but he backed off in another direction and I made it past him. He then stood at the doorway hissing while I plugged the vacuum in and started to clean.

When I finished, I turned around and Inky was gone. I had cleaned the whole floor and it took me several minutes, so I wasn't surprised he didn't stick around, but I half expected him to remain at the door and hissing.

I wrapped up the cord and carried the vacuum downstairs... where Inkwell was waiting. He stayed back, not blocking my way, but hissed as soon as the vacuum was within a few feet of him. I rolled my eyes and put it away in the closet while he hissed at it. Then he ran over to the door and meowed at the door, sounding exactly like someone telling off a person who had been rude. The meows went on for quite awhile, so I guess he had a lot to say. Finally he finished with a "Hmpf!" and stalked upstairs to see what kind of damage the evil machine had done.

I just stood there, trying really hard not to giggle.

After a couple of minutes he came back downstairs, walked up to me, meowed once very loudly, then jumped into a chair and started to groom himself. The battle was won, the victor needed to get clean.