Thursday, June 07, 2007

Fibro Fog

I suppose I owe a little explanation. I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, which is shorthand for "we don't really know what's wrong with you, but you fit this category of symptoms so we'll give it that name and proceed with treatment based on that". Unfortunately, I have no health insurance, and none of the treatments we tried before it ran out worked for me. So I'm in a holding pattern at the moment. Usually the pain isn't too bad, and usually I can still think, so I'm capable of doing internet work.

Since Sunday night I've been having long periods of sheer agony and a mental fog that has kept me from doing anything more mentally stimulating than watching TV or attempting to read. I remember almost nothing of what I've read in the last few days, and the TV is a little hazy as well.

The whole thing is starting to lift, but this is probably the worst flare up I've ever had. My sister pointed out this morning that the weather around here changed dramatically Sunday evening/Monday morning, about when the flare up started. We don't know for sure if the weather affects fibro, but both my Mom's and my cases seem to be. Yeah, my Mom has it too. So do other members of my family.

The mental fog: imagine what you feel like when you know you are forgetting something, but cannot remember what it is. Now multiply that by a thousand, and surround yourself by noise so you can't focus. That's a little like what it feels like. When I can't focus, I cannot write. Thus the lack of blogging.

I suppose this entry is mostly for Jack, who's been very patiently waiting for the next Aquaman review. The problem is that I'll read the story and be unable to remember what I just read two minutes later. It's really hard to write a summary when you can't even remember what you just read. I think I've read the next Aquaman story about sixty times in the last four days, and I still couldn't tell you what happened in it. And not because it's particularly boring, just because I can't remember. It's behind a fog.