I fell into a bit of depression yesterday afternoon.
I was doing fine all morning, but as the day wore on I got anxious and disturbed, and after hubby-Eric went on a much-needed shopping trip I felt even more distressed.
I'm scared of the virus. I know too much and too little about it. I worry that Eric isn't washing his hands enough, or that someone will cough on him, or that an asymptomatic carrier will touch something and he'll touch it and then I'll get it. I feel vulnerable and trapped. And when I'm also feeling strange physical sensations all over my body as my skin tries to deal with my weight loss, it adds to the surreal and depressive nature of my feelings.
So I went down a rabbit hole of fear yesterday afternoon and found it very hard to deal.
Yesterday morning wasn't too bad. I was still fatigued from Wednesday's two trips down the stairs, but I managed to get downstairs and make my own lunch yesterday, anyway. Leftovers, yes, but there was a little bit of prep involved.
My video game, DC Universe Online, dropped new content yesterday as well. I should have concentrated on playing that and trying to have fun, but I only played a little of the new "Birds of Prey" DLC. What I played was fun, so maybe I should go back and play a little more today.
Last night I slept pretty soundly. I turned up the humidifier because I've been feeling particularly parched lately - I think the medications have wrung nearly all the excess liquid out of my body. I know I was having anxious dreams, but fortunately I don't remember them.
Inkwell was very polite this morning, not waking me up until about 10 minutes before my alarm. Of course, to wake me up he stood on my shoulder and meowed because he couldn't get to my nose to bop it. Silly cat.
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