Thinking I was stronger than I am, yesterday morning I headed downstairs to get myself some water and an insulin pen. It wasn't until I was almost at the top of the stairs again that I realized how much effort it was taking. The rest of the day kind of followed suit. I was exhausted.
Emotionally I was feeling wrecked, and it didn't improve much throughout the day. I tried. I stayed away from the news and played my game and read and just tried to not let "it" get to me. But the day was overall unhappy.
Physically I was mostly fine, except for being bone-tired. I ended up taking a long nap before lunch, which helped a little, but I was still worn out most of the day. Of course, this morning I had insomnia - which nearly always happens if I nap during the day.
Inkwell was very clingy yesterday, insisting on lap time without the computer and slapping my hand if I reached for the computer mouse or my phone. He also insisted on scritches and petting. Silly cat. He never stayed too long in my lap, but he made many visits.
I guess I'm frustrated with being so weak. I'm exercising, trying to build up strength, but I just get more tired. I want to be able to cook for myself. I want to bake something, even if I can't eat it. I want to be able to stand up in the kitchen for more than five minutes before feeling like I'm going to collapse. I want to be able to climb the stairs without having to stop and rest.
I know I'm healing. I just wish I could heal a little faster.
1 comments:
Dr. Inkwell is wise.
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